hello and good evening. I'm not going to worry too much about grammar and such...I'm going to just write tonight. I'm holding a baby and using this new crazy way of creating words. I'm swiping my finger over letters and my magical tablet knows just what to type...crazy.
so on to my dilemma. I work away from home like most people - so dialogue between me and wife consists of texts or email. when I hear very little from her I know it's busy or something is up...sometimes both. sometimes one triggers the other.
I've told her in the past to use me as as sounding board or at the very least a way to keep in touch with the outside world and not babies twenty four seven. let me know what's going on - good, bad, indifferent. I thought it would be a good way to vent...after all she does it here or on Facebook. why not with me?
so long story short....she's stressed when I get home. and I could tell. and I tried to get something from her but she's distant. big D number 1. I get frustrated and I want to talk but time is not on our side. She has to leave to take daughter to dance...urgh. I got mad and started picking up and bringing down laundry...I tend to start doing things when I get mad. I was bringing down a hamper of clothes as she was walking out and she opened the door to the garage right as i was trying to get to laundry room. it was one of those moments that could be either bad timing or on purpose...depending on the individual. all I wanted was for her to pull the door shut enough for me to pass. She didn't...so I helped her....by using my foot to push the door shut and her with it. in her defense she thought daughter was coming but she wasn't. one of those moments.
She was gone for a few hours and I tried to clean a little and watch the boys. a nice quiet evening which I use to reflect. I know I want to spank her. more for maintenance than anything. I know she gets stressed and frustrated so I try not to add to it but I want to help...but she shuts down just as bad as I can (another story for another time) more than anything I want to spank to bring us together. does that even make sense? her butt gets smacked but is that fair?? how do you know when it's right to spank...this is as gut feeling for me here and I'm writing before carrying anything out. She didn't think I would. neener neener.
we're new to this and even newer to sharing our thoughts...
I'm looking forward to your input.